OMG... OMG... Do You Want Sighs With That?

My piety has resulted in a Catholic schoolgirl miracle since 9 Figure Man and I are getting together! He finally agreed to fill my wallet after I sent him an offer he obviously couldn't refuse. He nearly got me asking if he wanted sighs with that. I never thought it would happen, but it did! All he was ever after was a distressed sale and I gave him one. Even though the offer we both agreed on was substantially less than my previous salary - something close to my salary before the whole Madoff accusations, I am viewing this as my first step towards a sustainable seven figure business. There could be many more of these coming for me in the next few weeks and I have so many other new ideas I want to explore after my first gig.

I'm going to have to get cracking on his 9 Figure Plot to dominate our industry, which will give me many more sleepless nights. If he finds out I still have time to blah, he definitely won't be happy. He's very possessive it seems and I have to travel soon. But he'll definitely be my Sultan for the next few weeks...

And I wish to please him since he's my first client, which means I will have to do my homework and go out of my way to ensure his every need is met to the highest level of satisfaction.

HSFTs, if you don't hear from me, it can only mean good news!

Oh, I'm so excited... yes, yes, yes!

Welcome To A New Season of ForexDiva...

... and it begins with violin music playing in the background as not just one, but two, six figure accounts fail to materialise for Happy Shiny ForexDiva.

I have a very bad feeling that this was all part of a very big convoluted joke on me and have literally been crying about it. When we left off, 9 Figure Man was about to fill my wallet, but I told him... wait till next week, which got him really, really turned on. So he came back to me the following week and said: I'll fill your wallet with a +10% increase and I told him no again and sent him another counteroffer. He then left me burning with financial need for two weeks, after which I reluctantly agreed to his offer. I thought it was all well and good, but he had a few tricks up his sleeve. After bidding me up and killing all the other bidders, he decided to start killing me too.

And kill me he did! At the last minute, he wanted to half in half out with me and cut the work involved in half, leaving me with an offer that stood at 50% of the original offer. I was so ticked off that I asked him to send his offer in writing, which ticked him off some more, resulting in me sending him a final counteroffer that he then refused. It got bad! He told me he had never met anyone with a bigger ego - only he paraphrased it by saying that he had never met anyone with such high expectations.

I then tried another account, only to be rejected on the same day. The stimulus withdrawal hurt - especially against the backdrop of a rapidly retracing portfolio! I remember my Roth IRA being -20% at one point, or at least it felt that way. Now, it's still about -11% off.

So after lunch with a colleague, I went straight to Church today and lit a tonne of candles. But I did not go into the Confessional Booth. I did what I thought was right and I'm not going to make any excuses for it. I had to stand up for myself even if dignity can't pay the bills.

For now, I've decided to focus on other markets rather than my previous industry and will also be back to trading, although I should most probably sell rather than try to buy since none of my recent buys have been successful with the exception of HWD.

The only bright spot recently was reading BFF Forex Broker's Market Commentary. It was so good that it made me say 'Wow!' And Boris Schlossberg made a cameo appearance in my dream too, but I won't disclose all the details, not that it was inappropriate.

I feel like the biggest bimbo on earth, but I'm going to keep going because I have some interesting ideas I want to explore and I know there's a Happy Shiny Place in this world for me. And if I gave up, I wouldn't be ForexDiva!

I hope you're all welcoming me back with open arms, Professors...

I Wonder If My 9 Figure Man Read My Blog?

... and was offended by that Jar of Hearts comment? Or perhaps he knows how bimbo I am from my Good Friday Good Laugh? We talked today and he's standing really firm and acting nonchalant, but it secretly winds me up that's he's so potent and powerful. The guy can negotiate! But so can I...

I added some additional services to our agreement rather than lowering my fee, but he didn't sound too hot about it. Should I just jump on his treasure trunk?

I have a new suitor though and I literally spoke to someone from the peerage today - no joke! Now I'm going to do two presentations to knock both their socks off.

The market's open today, but it would have been better if it had just stayed closed:

+1.27% SBA

-0.91% Roth IRA

-0.18% S&P

-0.21% DJIA

+0.17% Nasdaq

HSFTs, touch my pips and make me happy again...

That Was Just So Embarrassing...

... forget I even mentioned it because apparently, the market was closed.

Ooopss... apparently not a ForexDiva First...

The Bwahaha's Only Fun...

... when you're the one doling it out. And today, I could have been, but since it's almost Easter Bunny Time, I'll behave and just do my Catholic Schoolgirl Screaming especially since I don't have to go into the Confessional Booth:

+4.53% SBA (only because of GEN)

+1.81% Roth IRA (thanks to HWD)

+0.53% S&P

DJIA +0.42%

Nasdaq 0%

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...

Happy Easter, HSFTs! Where do you think I hid my Easter Bunny Ears this year?

So If A Gentleman Doesn't Call...

... when he says he will, could he still be considered a gentleman based only on the fact that he is 9 Figures? The old me, who was bitter instead of sweet, would have dedicated Jar of Hearts to him!

But the new me? Oh, I'll keep going with my other suitors. It was another late night because apparently all the people I am looking to target all like to arrive at the office late. So I have a very strange schedule going on. I need to call people in Asia and in Belgium. This gives me a window of like five or six hours of sleep every night and you all know I take an hour long shower, so this just isn't enough time for a woman like me. Plus, I have to cook and clean. I can't wait till I could outsource the cleaning since I mop like every two days! I've therefore been skipping the calls to Belgium this week in favour of sleep.

Next week, I have to start calling Belgium. The companies in Asia have been very, very receptive to me so far, but once I send them a quotation, I have to wait and wait. Everyone thinks they're going to be getting a distressed sale, but I'm only going to appreciate. I'm going on my third quotation now.

If I don't hear from Mr 9 Figures next week, I think that negotiation is pretty much done and I'll need to move on with the rest. Oh, but he was so kind and I'd really like to work with him. But this is business and I am a woman who traded the Hung Parliament and the Japanese Earthquake too.

Plus, my portfolio is way too hot today:

+4.55% SBA (how in the world did that happen? I suppose we have Mr. Paulson to thank for the +5.57% move on GEN)

+1.81% Roth IRA (Harry's making me burn with trading desire once again)

+0.53% S&P

+0.42% DJIA

+0.63% Nasdaq

Another Late Night...

I did some more cold calling last night to the point where someone actually asked me what I was doing up so late, then tossed and turned until at least 3:30 am pondering why my 9 Figure Man hasn't called yet. Is he just busy? Or is he traveling? Or is he just plain playing mind games with me?

But there's no doubt in my mind that there is only one woman who can give him what he needs - and that happens to be moi!

Our negotiation has been very much like a high stakes poker game. I know when we finally get around to working together, there'll be a lot of trading plaisir. And I'm looking for a long term collaboration with this man. He is a gentleman above all and it won't be just about the moola, although a lot of it will be. The best part is that he didn't comment about my diva travel demands. I stipulated the exact hotel and airline / class I want to travel on in the agreement and all he mentioned was that my consultation fee was exorbitant. Is it? I'm worth it!

In addition to a fantastic lunch comprising of my homemade signature herb-crusted chicken tahini wrap, I also had a good trading session today, although I was absent for most of the day:

-0.64% SBA

+1.77% Roth IRA

+1.35% S&P

+1.52% DJIA

+2.10% Nasdaq

I Admit It...

... my recent portfolio rebalancing was a disaster and I might have done better by staying put with the investments that were already in my portfolio last December. I'm still a bit baffled as to what went wrong with my new strategy and there could be a few key reasons for my unappealing trading results of late.

First, I switched time zones. Whereas before, I had the luxury of dedicating several hours a day solely to trading, I now have to juggle building up my new business along with trading. Next, I switched computers too. I don't have eSignal installed anymore and have to get around to doing it if it's even available to Mac users. I absolutely abhor the Mac. It's totally overrated and once I sign on with my 9 Figure Man, I might actually switch back to the PC. I'm also in a totally risk-averse frame of mind due to my quickly depreciating assets. Finally, there are many distractions around the library here. People are noisy, the music's loud, and ever since some of my neighbours found out that I'm renting my apartment and spend a lot less money than they do to reap the same rewards, I've been One Hated Woman. I suppose the fact that one of them overheard me saying that there's a lot of inventory in the building didn't help either. People have been complaining about the pettiest things about me to the superintendent. I don't mind. The fact is that there are at least three other buildings I can stay in for the same amount of money and some of them may be even newer and nicer. So perhaps I should move!

But there's just too much to do and not enough time to do it. Last night, I was awake till about 2 am following up with some of my suitors - some of which turned out to be uninteresting. I haven't done a cold call in like 10 years, so I was muttering and the first two were pretty embarrassing. But I kept going and finally, my lucky break occurred. Two in a row, in fact! Some of my suitors fell off my A-List because they just didn't sound like people I could work with. And I know only one deserves my extra special incentive. No, it's not my chastity!

So far, I have a handful of serious contenders and this is what I need. I'd like a few more just to up the odds. I have to keep all of them interested and at the same time maximise my consulting fee whilst not going overboard with the TETSOB thing. It's a very delicate balance.

Evidently, TETSOB doesn't always result in stellar trading results and nothing can save me but Bernanke himself for he and I have a similar batting average apparently:

+0.47% SBA

+0.11% Roth IRA

+0.57% S&P

+0.53% DJIA

+0.35% Nasdaq

Harry Made Me Sad...

... he has that power over my portfolio. All it takes is a -4.36% retracement from HWD to make or break my day. It might also be because I didn't go to Church yesterday. What?

But my main focus is the young, twenty-something (and probably handsome) Mr 9 Figures. I'm still waiting for him to call and give me the greatest trading plaisir of my life. But I am by no means desperate! Over the weekend, a few other 8 to 9 Figure Suitors responded with enthusiasm to my email marketing campaign. So far, my response rate is about 16%! That's one hot campaign. And this was only a four sentence email. Apparently, I said all the right things and I won't have to resort to the fax machine if all goes well.

Anything would be better than my report card and I might have to call my trading a day if this continues.

-1.11% SBA

-2.36% Roth IRA

-1.07% S&P

-1.14% DJIA

-1.06% Nasdaq

My Man Called...

... but we're delaying our trading plaisir till at least Monday of next week. He initially wouldn't budge on my fee, but then I told him that since he was my first consulting gig, he'll get something extra special from me, but he better move fast because some of his competitors already want what can only be given out once - totally true since my email marketing worked like my Tiffany charm bracelet.

Hopefully, what occurred today with my portfolio can only occur once too:

Thursday

-0.21% SBA

-0.01% Roth IRA

+0.01% S&P

+0.12% DJIA

-0.05% Nasdaq

Friday

-0.79% SBA

-1.30% Roth IRA

+0.38% S&P

+0.46% DJIA

+0.16% Nasdaq